Prologue

I got an email from my coworker with the subject line "uh oh." It contained a link to an article about a new eating disorder, orthorexia nervosa, where the sufferer is obsessed with healthy eating. You can diagnose yourself with this disorder by taking the Bratman test. It has questions like, "Have you given up foods you used to enjoy in order to eat the 'right' foods?" and "Do you spend more than 3 hours a day thinking about your diet?"

I don't know how many hours a day I spend thinking about my diet, but the "uh oh" was proof that I spend at least 3 hours a day talking about it, and annoying everyone. The worst part is that I don't talk about it because I know what I'm talking about, but because I'm too stupid to figure it out by myself. For some ridiculous reason, eating healthy is complicated.

Food is a simple biological need, and the science behind which nutrients my body needs is pretty basic, but in reality, the practice of maintaining a healthy body is "different for everyone," and you have to "try things out to see what works," and "small mistakes can equal big disappointments."

But.. why??

The level to which I'm allowed to sabotage myself is astounding. Why doesn't my body keep itself in check? Like, why can't the amount of full I feel be equal to the number of calories I eat? That would make life so simple. I might actually spend only 3 hours thinking about what I'm eating, and I would get on my phone to play a fun game and not just to log and check my calories.

And, the science isn't straightforward. It's supposed to work that if you eat fewer calories than you burn, you lose weight, but then the fewer calories you eat, the fewer calories you need, so it's never simple. Calories are supposed to all be just calories, but then getting more calories from protein than carbohydrates better promotes fat loss.

So, OF COURSE I spend more than 3 hours a day thinking about my diet. There's so much to read and so much to talk about with people who tried this thing or that thing.

I'm particularly obsessive these days because I birthed a sweet babe 9 months ago, and although I finally fit into my pre-pregnancy clothes, I'm tired of my plateau-shaped stomach. I've known that because I made a concerted effort to gain weight during pregnancy, I was going to have to make one to lose the weight. I've been exercising and playing sports, and did some dieting, and my trainer says my "limbs are leaning out," but other than that, I'm not getting results. It's time for P90X, of course!

I bought P90X in 2010. I attempted it twice, but I couldn't stick with it for more than a couple of weeks. The annoying truth is that health doesn't come naturally, even though IT SHOULD. Being healthy takes a lot of hard work and discipline, especially when most everyone around you would rather encourage your indulgences, for no other reason than to get you to shut up about what you're eating (or not eating, rather) and how you're working out.

Instead of telling everyone about how my P90X program is going, I'm going to keep it to myself, and this blog.

For my P90X-eve meal, I ate sushi. Yum! I'll miss you sushi and garlic edamame. See you in 90 days.